TL;DR
Greetings, maan-a-niya! 🌟 We've got some exciting feasting plans for the "Dar Khaney Feast," and we couldn't wait to join in the celebration. That's why your favorite caffeinated conspiracy has made an early appearance this week, defying its usual weekly cadence. 🎉☕ #EarlyEdition #CoffeeGuffConspiracy
In this edition, we've brewed up a delightful blend of topics that'll tickle your brain and leave you craving for more. From the ever-savvy world of politics to the intriguing tech trends, we've got it all covered. Say hello to Teej and welcome an array of holidays with our handcrafted stories:
💉 Doctors Became Unwitting Punchlines at Sancho Hospital: We explore the unexpected humor in a serious situation.
👋 Farewell to Subhash Nemwang: Celebrate the legacy of a distinguished speaker.
🎤 Balen Chronicles: Discover the highs and lows of a rising political star.
🔔 RSP's Corruption Conundrum: Dive into the intricate web of political affairs.
👽 Ufologist Unveils Alien Caskets: Yes, you read that right! Explore the extraterrestrial mystery.
📱 Tech Trend: Apple's Silent AI Implementation – A sneak peek into the tech giant's secrets.
📊 Shots of Stats: Numbers can tell fascinating stories; we've got the highlights.
🎁 Consolation Prize: Because we all need a bit of humor and reflection.
Stay tuned for your weekly dose of wit, wisdom, and maybe a conspiracy or two. Subscribe now and let the caffeinated journey begin! ☕📰🌐
A. Sip on Savvy Politics
Doctors Became Unwitting Punchlines at Sancho Hospital
Oh, what a 'surprise'! In yet another 'remarkable' display of understanding, some individuals decided to take matters into their own hands at Sancho Hospital. Dr. Vikas Thapa and Dr. Prashant Vidari, tirelessly working to save lives, were rewarded with a not-so-warm welcome—beating while treating patients.
It's almost like a comedy of errors: a patient arrives with dengue symptoms, is referred to another hospital, and sadly, succumbs to the illness. In response, the grieving relatives unleash their 'medical expertise,' accusing Sancho Hospital of negligence and demanding compensation. Because why wouldn't you blame the doctors when things go south, right?
This delightful incident serves as yet another reminder of the utterly perplexing trend of resorting to violence against medical professionals in Nepal, where it seems doctors are expected to perform miracles with a side of mind-reading. 🤦♂️💉👩⚕️ #MedicineMeetsMayhem
Farewell to Subhash Nemwang: A Speaker of Distinction
On this day, we bid farewell to a political luminary who left an indelible mark on the annals of Nepali history. Subhash Nemwang, revered far and wide for his exemplary role as the Speaker of the Constitution Assembly of Nepal, has concluded his earthly journey.
Nemwang's legacy is one of unwavering dedication to the democratic process. His tenure as the Speaker was marked by a commitment to upholding the principles of fairness, dialogue, and inclusivity. Many knew him primarily for his role in the assembly, where he skillfully navigated the turbulent seas of politics, ensuring that every voice was heard, every perspective considered.
While Nemwang's accomplishments are aplenty, him and secularism in the constitution remains a topic of spirited debate. However, let us remember that in the world of politics, controversy is often the price one pays for progress. It is a testament to his courage that he dared to challenge the status quo and advocate for a more inclusive society.
As we bid adieu to this remarkable figure, let us reflect not only on his contributions but also on the legacy of resilience and dedication that he leaves behind. Subhash Nemwang rests peacefully, having played his part in the grand tapestry of Nepali politics. May his memory continue to inspire and uplift us all. 🌟🇳🇵🙏 #DontCurseTheDeparted
Balen Chronicles: Winning Hearts, Ruffling Feathers
In a world where superheroes wear capes, Balendra Shah aka Balen dai, has shown us that sometimes all you need is a pair of snazzy shades and a knack for controversy to make it to the big leagues. Hold onto your seats, folks, because the mayor of Kathmandu is nothing short of a legend in his own right!
First things first, let's tip our hats to Balen for landing a spot on Times100 NEXT. It's a prestigious list that celebrates young, dynamic individuals shaping the future. And by shaping, we mean bulldozing through it with a charming grin and a penchant for making headlines.
Cleaner streets, safe drinking water, preserving heritage, and all that jazz, admirable goals, no doubt. But as they say, the road to good intentions is often paved with demolished buildings and disgruntled citizens. Poor city planning? Nah, it's just urban renewal on steroids!
It's like he's the Kim Kardashian of Nepali politics—minus the selfies, but with all the drama! And speaking of drama, let's not forget the Facebook status that set social media on fire. Threatening to burn down Singha Durbar, the government's seat, genius! Who says politicians can't be rockstars?
So, there you have it, folks—the epic tale of Balen, the mayor who effortlessly blends charisma, controversy, and a dash of chaos into the Kathmandu cocktail. Love him or loathe him, you can't deny he's brought some much-needed pizzazz to Nepali politics! 🕶️🎤🏙️ #BalenChronicles
RSP's Corruption Conundrum
In a surprising twist, the Rastriya Swatantra Party (RSP) is now investigating allegations of bribery against its own central committee member, Mohan Jung Thapa. This unusual scenario unfolded after sacked lawmaker Dhaka Kumar Shrestha accused Thapa of wrongdoing. Notably, Rabi Lamichhane, the RSP's leader and former TV host, is known for his fiery stance against corruption.
Shrestha, who faced expulsion following the release of an incriminating audio recording, is allegedly heard discussing a substantial Rs20 million deal. His goal? To secure the position of health minister by greasing the palms of RSP's core group members, promising to revolutionize the health sector. As this political drama unfolds, the RSP finds itself in the unique role of investigator and defendant, leaving us all wondering if Thapa will face the dreaded "naak ko dadi bhachiney kick" or if there's a surprise twist in store. 🔔🕵️♂️💥📺
Ufologist Unveils Alien Caskets
Mexico's Congress recently took a wild ride to the stars with an extraterrestrial hearing that left lawmakers in stitches. The showstopper? Jaime Maussan, our friendly neighborhood ufologist, waltzed in with not one but two mysterious caskets, ready for an otherworldly reveal.
As Maussan played the part of our cosmic tour guide, two eager assistants unveiled the caskets, unveiling... drumroll, please... two enigmatic bodies! "We are not alone," Maussan proclaimed, leaving the audience questioning whether they were at a congressional hearing or a galactic talent show.
But alas, the interstellar fun took a nosedive the next day. Pilot and UFO enthusiast Mr. Graves, who had accepted the invitation to talk about UFO encounters, distanced himself from the cosmic comedy. In a digital transmission on X (formerly Twitter), he basically said, "I came for the UFOs, not the 'Unidentified Fake Objects.' Let's stick to the truth, folks!" And just like that, the cosmic circus left town, leaving us with more questions than answers in this hilarious close encounter of the congressional kind. 👽🪐🤣 #CosmicComedyCongress #AlienAntics
B. Tech Trends over Espresso
Apple's Silent AI Implementation
While tech giants like Microsoft and Google often flaunt their AI prowess, Apple has been quietly integrating artificial intelligence into its devices to elevate user experiences. The recent release of the iPhone 15, Apple Watch Series 9, and Ultra 2 shines a light on Apple's AI evolution.
In the iPhone 15 lineup, AI-driven features take center stage. The camera's machine learning capabilities now effortlessly detect people or pets in the frame, seamlessly transitioning to Portrait mode. Notably, the A17 Pro chip in the iPhone 15 Pro models empowers more precise predictive text and enhances AI functionalities behind the camera system.
Apple's smartwatches, the Apple Watch Series 9 and Ultra 2, also benefit from AI enhancements. The S9 SiP processor brings improved performance and graphics, making possible new features like the double-tap function. Meanwhile, a 4-core neural engine accelerates AI tasks, leading to superior performance in image and voice recognition. Siri, Apple's virtual assistant, gets a boost too, with on-device processing for faster responses and seamless integration with the Health app.
Though Apple isn't one to shout about its AI implementations, these subtle yet impactful enhancements in their latest products underscore the company's commitment to leveraging AI to enhance functionality and user experience. So, while the buzzwords might not be there, the AI magic certainly is. ✨📱⌚ #AppleAI
C. Shots of Stats
74.6 % of women don’t own property or any asset in Nepal
Independence and financial freedom for women – it's time for more 'laalpurja' and DMAT accounts. 💼🏠💪
73% of the household have smartphones but only 37% have access to internet in Nepal
Wonder what other 36% are doing in their smartphone? Not reading our kada newsletter.
D. Consolation Prize
Oh, What a Surprise! Airport Customs Services Take a 'Pause' as Employees Get Investigated for Gold Smuggling Case
Ah, the good old 'collective move' strike at Tribhuvan International Airport's Customs Office, where airport customs officials are on strike because their fellow employees were investigated for a 61kg gold smuggling case. It's like saying, 'We want better working conditions, but first, let's inconvenience everyone else.'
Considering the reputation of customs checkpoints and officials in Nepal as potential hotbeds of corruption, these employees sure have a unique way of expressing their grievances – from 'pen down' strikes to threatening to halt all freight activities. Maybe they'll even consider a 'baggage carousel' sit-in next. Let's hope they find a smoother flight path to resolving their issues, without causing turbulence for travelers." ✈️🛄🤨 #AirportStrikes