(A)sambhav Saga, Diplomatic Drama, and Tech Futurama
Teachers march past, Balen dai petty af, Prachanda rodeo
Coffee Guff
September 23, 2023
Greetings, caffeinated comrades! After the whirlwind of Teej festivities and that extra plate of dar that now has our tummies staging a rebellion, fear not! We've summoned our wit and brewed up a newsletter that's piping hot and ready to be savored. 🍵✨
So, put your post-Teej indigestion aside, grab your favorite brew, and let's dive into the caffeinated world of Coffee Guff! 💥🚀
TL;DR
In this edition, we'll dissect the high-stakes world of politics, explore diplomatic showdowns, join the rally for education reform, and fast tech for fast lives! ☕📰
Caffeinated conspiracy agendas in this edition:
Current Affairs:
🗳️ Everyone is leaving, thus Expats can vote
🌐 Diplomatic Drama Unveiled: Canada vs. India Edition 🇨🇦🤝🇮🇳
🎒 Nepal's Teachers Rally for Change in Education Bill
Tech Trend:
🦆 DuckDuckGo vs. Google: The Battle of the Clicks 🖱️
📱iPhone 15 Pro Review: A Swift Sip of Tech ☕
🪦 NFTs: More Like "Not-For-Too-Long" Tokens? 💀
Consolation Prize:
🎬 Sambhav Sirohiya takes center stage at KMG
Dear Coffee Guff Community,
We want to start by a massive THANK YOU to all our amazing subscribers! 🙌 Your support keeps us brewing with fresh stories, witty takes, and a dash of wisdom.
Now, here's a little request – help us spread the caffeinated joy! ☕ Share, forward our newsletter with just three people. They could be your friends, sasu-sasura, uncles-aunties, fupu-fupajus – anyone who craves Nepali politics, tech, and all the wild happenings around us.
Let's make every coffee break a Guff-filled adventure together! 🚀
Remember just three people. Mother internet is watching those who don’t share.
With endless thanks and frothy vibes!!
Current Affairs
🗳️ Everyone is leaving, thus Expats can vote
Kicker: Folks are leaving Nepal by thousands in a day. Government don’t know how to keep them home. So, some lawmakers are suggesting let’s just ban them from going abroad. While other half is lamenting janata nabhayeko desh ni k desh? #Jatra
Realizing that majority of Nepali will become soon expats, after UN appearance PM Pushpa Kamal Dahal dropped a bombshell – Nepali expatriates might soon cast their votes. Seems progressive, right? But there's more to this plot.
In the last election, Nepali expats weren't exactly cheering for the Maoists. They gave the Rastriya Swatantra Party (RaSwaPa) a standing ovation. 🔔
So, what's the catch? Unless PM Dahal is in the game, it might just be political theatrics to hype up supremos fanbase in samanti west. 🎣
Meanwhile, he had a Kodak moment with Danta Nepali, the "Darshana" Maoist mayor of Kalikot, allegedly seeking political asylum in the U.S., fearing persecution by THE MAOIST. 🤯
Ms. Danta Nepali “Darshana” with pearly necklace seen with supremo
📸 PM Prachanda also flaunted a photo op with US Prez Joe Biden, as if a diplomatic victory, it’s not.
अमेरिकी राष्ट्रपति महामहिम जो बाइडेन र श्रीमती बाइडेनलाई न्यानो स्वागत तथा आतिथ्यका लागि हार्दिक आभार तथा धन्यवाद !
#pmprachanda#UNGA78#jobaiden#UnitedNations— ☭ Comrade Prachanda (@cmprachanda)
Sep 22, 2023
These photo ops are customary after UN General assembly, so let’s not scream diplomatic victory, comrades. But hash tag #JoBaiden, was the highlight of PM’s tweet. Oops, typo alert! 🤦
🇨🇦 🇮🇳 Canada vs. India: A Diplomatic Duel with a Dash of Spice
Hold onto your maple leaves and curry pots, folks, because Canada and India are locked in a spicy diplomatic showdown! 🌶️💥
Hardeep Singh Nijjar was an Indian-born Canadian Sikh separatist leader involved with the Khalistan movement. While Nijjar was viewed as a Sikh-independence advocate by many Sikh organizations, the Indian government considered him a terrorist
Trudeau Drops the Mic: It all started when Canadian PM Justin Trudeau casually accused India of being involved in a high-profile assassination on Canadian soil. Not your everyday coffee chat, huh? ☕🔍
India's Eye Roll: India's response? An epic eye-roll followed by a vehement "we didn't do it!" 🙄🚫
Tit-for-Tat Diplomacy: In true diplomatic fashion, they began expelling each other's diplomats like there's no tomorrow. 🕴️🔜🕴️
Visa Suspense: But wait, there's more! India got extra sassy and suspended visas for Canadian citizens, citing "security threats." 🛂🚫🔐
Trudeau's Chill Pill: PM Trudeau then chimed in, politely asking India to chill and let justice do its thing. 🤝❄️
Worldwide Side-Eye: As the world watches, we can't help but wonder if this feud might just create the hottest international rift since spicy curry. 🍛🌏💥
Grab your popcorn, folks, and let's see where this spicy drama takes us! 🍿🎬 #CanadaIndiaDrama #DiplomaticShowdown
🎒 Nepal's Teachers Rally for Change in Education Bill
📢 Teachers from all corners of Nepal gathered in Kathmandu to raise their voices against the new education bill. Organized by the Nepal Teachers’ Federation, this protest zeroes in on sections 71 to 88 of the bill, which they believe don't quite match their prior agreements.
Nara: Mo money, mo benefits, mo designation! Ask us no Qs on quality of education. Teachers got protesting.
✏️ The teachers are demanding amendments that remove restrictions on receiving donations, engaging in business activities, and participating in demonstrations. They're also eyeing a change in the clause that allows for the suspension of salary increases and promotions for up to five years. The teachers are even questioning the authority of local bodies to dismiss educators under these terms.
🤔 Now here's a twist: The kids of these protesting teachers often don't attend government schools. 🏫 This begs the question—why the demand for financial incentives when their commitment to quality education is up in the air? 🧐
💪 Despite invitations for dialogue from the Ministry of Education, these teachers stand their ground, emphasizing their belief in prior agreements.
But wait, there's more! KMC mayor Balen dai didn't shy away from taking a jab at the protesting teachers, who were seen sitting on his famous roadside greens and plants that have seen better days.
🌿 With a cheeky poem, he said, "Na tipnu hera kopila..." 🤣 Balen dai is one petty poet! 🚜 Attempting to bulldoze through teachers' hopes and dreams. 📜🌱 #NepalEducation #TeachersProtest #BalenDaiPoetry
Tech Trends
🦆 DuckDuckGo vs. Google: The Battle of the Clicks 🖱️
A historic anti-trust trial is brewing up in Rajdhani DC, US vs Google
In the epic saga of David vs. Goliath, DuckDuckGo's founder, Gabriel Weinberg, stepped into the antitrust arena to take on Google. His gripe? Google's not-so-gentle multi billion dollar persuasion tactics with phone companies and equipment manufacturers to make it the default search engine on your gadgets. 📱💻
Weinberg's got a point. Switching from Google can feel like trying to untangle headphone wires after a long nap. With up to 50 steps required to break free, who's got the patience for that? 🤷♂️
Meanwhile, Google insists its search is the bee's knees. But as Weinberg puts it, the real buzzkill is those pesky default settings. With privacy concerns on the rise, DuckDuckGo swooped in as the search engine for those who'd rather not be followed around the internet like a lost puppy. 🐾
So, are we stuck with the big G? Or will DuckDuckGo's one-click escape plan win the day? Stay tuned for more courtroom drama! 🍿🔍 #SearchWars #DefaultDilemma
📱iPhone 15 Pro Review: A Swift Sip of Tech ☕
In the world of speedy tech, yours truly couldn't resist the allure of the iPhone 15 Pro and got one. So, here's the lowdown for all you techies in a hurry:
📸 Camera aficionados, rejoice! Under the perfect lighting conditions, you'll spot the difference between the 14 Pro and its newer sibling. Say cheese!
🔘 The action button's in, and the mute button's out! Sure, you can customize it, but unless you're closing your garage door or crafting custom shortcuts, it might just remain a mystery button.
🔌 USB-C: The universal connector. Great for streamlining cords, but if you're living in a charging jungle, prepare for a cord confusion dance between Lightning and USB-C.
🪶 It's feather-light, but a case could be your new BFF to keep it safe. Soon, you won't even feel the extra weight.
🚀 The A17 chip is like a turbo boost for your smartphone. Gamers, this one's a must. If you're just scrolling through endless TikToks, it's like strapping a jet engine to a tortoise.
🗣️ Siri's faster, but still in the slow lane when it comes to smarts. Quick, but not exactly the brightest bulb.
🔳 Titanium case: Sleek and shiny but a magnet for fingerprints and smudges. Not exactly a match made in heaven.
🔄 Upgrading from the 14 Pro? Meh, you won't be doing backflips. Stick to your trusty 14 Pro, no FOMO here.
P.S. I gave it to my wife, who's upgrading from the 12 Pro, and I have a feeling she's going to appreciate it more than I did. Happy wife, happy tech life! 💑📱
So there you have it, the iPhone 15 Pro in a jiffy. Fast tech for fast lives! 📱💨
🪦 NFTs: More Like "Not-For-Too-Long" Tokens? 💀
In the wild world of digital collectibles, NFTs are on life support, desperately searching for the next crypto revival. 🚑
Bored Ape NFT, once worth thouandssss, is now worthless and all we can say is khuchhing to these jpeg images
A recent report reveals that a staggering 95 percent of NFT collections are now about as valuable as a pet rock. Yep, that's right, millions of people bought exclusive rights to JPGs that are, well, worthless. 🖼️💸
While some die-hard believers are chanting "HODL" from the rooftops, the cold, hard truth is that NFTs are facing a reckoning. The days of multi-million-dollar JPEGs seem like a distant memory as prices plummet faster than a lead balloon. 🎈💥
But hey, who knows? Maybe one day, these digital trinkets will find their purpose. Until then, we'll be over here, sipping our coffee and watching the crypto rollercoaster from a safe distance. ☕🎢 #NFTs #CryptoCrash
Shots
We spend on average 15 hours crafting each newsletter, about 10 cups of espresso and dunk 1 packet of Parle-G in our frothy drinks.
Consolation Prize
Sambhav Sirohiya appointed Managing Director of Kantipur Media Group
Sambhav Sirohiya takes the helm as Managing Director at Kantipur Media Group, the media giant with pockets so deep they defy the law of gravity. How did he secure this role, you ask? Well, it helps when your dad is the current Managing Director at KMG. Nepotism? Nah, never heard of it! 🤷♂️
Looking incredible on news desk…but can he make MSM credible again?
But Sambhav's got his work cut out for him. Mainstream media impartiality is under the microscope, especially after RSP leader Rabi Lamichhane accused the "12 bhai" (media titans) of conspiracy. Can Sambhav rise to the occasion?
Now we brought 12 bhai, let us remind you, journalist turned philosopher Vijay Kumar recently launched 13bhai.com, what remains to be seen is, if he can take on thul dai of all the bhais, yours truly Coffee Guff.
Back to the subject-Known for his unique persona and quirky escapades, Sambhav is like the wildcard in this media drama. Whether it's his epic-length open letter or mysterious investments, you can't predict what's next. And let's not forget his intriguing associations with celebs like Niti Shah and Shrinkhala Khatiwada.
Sambhav's in for one wild ride in the media world, where twists and turns are the norm. Just like his VW incident – KMG knows how to flip the script! 🔄 #KMG #NepalMedia
Last but not the least
Did today's newsletter hit the mark, or did it miss the latte art? Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10!1 is the lowest score where as 10 is the highest score. |
Dear Coffee Guff Community,
A massive THANK YOU to all our amazing subscribers! 🙌 Your support keeps us brewing with fresh stories, witty takes, and a dash of wisdom.
Now, here's a little request – help us spread the caffeinated joy! ☕ Share, forward our newsletter with just three people. They could be your friends, sasu-sasura, uncles-aunties, fupu-fupajus – anyone who craves Nepali politics, tech, and all the wild happenings around us.
Let's make every coffee break a Guff-filled adventure together! 🚀
Remember just three people. Mother internet is watching those who don’t share.
With endless thanks and frothy vibes!!